Irony
by Chanteuse
Summary: She’d admit that sometimes she missed him. At night, mostly. Sometimes when she was at her loneliest she would imagine him warming the sheets beside her in her cold bed.


**Irony**

An argument had brought them together and an argument had torn them apart. The irony was cruel.

_"Why is it that you always feel the need to protect me? I'm a grown woman, Booth. I can take care of myself." Her eyes were challenging, fueled by her anger._

"_I know that! You remind me of it every chance you get." He strode closer to her, invading her personal space. Brennan stood her ground. "But you weren't doing such a great job of protecting yourself lying half unconscious on the ground with a killer wielding a knife standing over you. He was going to _kill_ you, and you're asking me why I was protecting you?! For a woman with your intelligence you can be very dense."_

_She knew that she was perhaps being irrational. She would have done the same for him without a second thought. But fueling her irrationality was her disappointment that she hadn't been able to defend herself. Depending on someone else was dangerous territory, and with Booth it seemed like territory that was hard to avoid. _

"_Okay, then. Why do you care? Answer me that." She sounded almost desperate. The sudden change of direction of the argument rendered him speechless. The question had shocked him and he didn't know what to tell her. He floundered for a moment and she turned away. Before she could pull away from him and shut down emotionally he grabbed her forearm and hauled her body to his, kissing her fiercely and forcing her to feel for once what it was like to be loved. _

The memory would be with her forever, a bittersweet reminder of what they had had and what they had lost.

That moment had been the beginning of their relationship. They had never really spoken about feelings or 'why?' or 'how?' they just had a mutual understanding of what the other was feeling that they felt nothing needed to be said between them. This had perhaps been their downfall.

But she did know that she had never been so happy as she had been with Booth. He seemed to complete her and make her feel whole in ways that she hadn't thought she'd be able to feel again. But he'd done it. He'd gone above and beyond and filled every empty space in her with his never-ending love, compassionate kisses and indescribable understanding. She knew she could never be the same after him.

After him. It was something she hoped would never happen. But it had. And she certainly was not the same.

That night five years ago was so painful for her to recall when she chose to recall it at all, which wasn't very often.

Mean, hateful things had been said. Things that she was sure neither of them had meant. They were blindly aiming to hurt the other with words they knew were sharp as razors. There had been no clear thinking or rationality, just one trying to hurt the other.

The next thing she knew she was screaming at him. And she'd hit her mark. The hurt flickered intensely in his eyes for a fraction of a second before he retaliated and hurt her twice as much. There were a few moments of thick silence before she told him menacingly in a whisper to get out. Snapped back to reality and realizing what they'd just done and what she'd just said, he tried to apologize. She would have none of it though. She told him again that she wanted him out and he resigned. This was doing them no good and she was too stubborn and he'd hurt her too deeply, he knew, to try and change her mind.

She slammed the door behind him. It was a sound that signaled finality for both of them and the closing door of another chapter of their lives.

After he'd left, she'd sat on their-_her_ bed for the longest time, questioning herself and trying not to cry. But then she'd pulled herself together. It had been her decision. There was no taking it back now. She had to move on. She'd done it before, and she could do it again now.

She hadn't looked back since.

That had been five years ago and she was all right. There was nobody special in her life but she had convinced herself that that wasn't something she needed. She had her friends and her bones and that was enough.

She'd admit that sometimes she missed him. At night, mostly. Sometimes when she was at her loneliest she would imagine him warming the sheets beside her in her cold bed. It would be one moment where she would let herself slip, only to snap herself out of it a few minutes later. It was a waste.

So five years later why was he at her doorstep? What was he doing? He wasn't supposed to be here. And she most certainly wasn't supposed to invite him into her home.

She offered him coffee like they were old friends. It seemed that some old habits were impossible to break. Even after so much time apart. They made small talk for a while, dancing around what they knew was inevitable like they used to.

"Why are you here, Booth?"

He supplied that he wanted to see her. He hadn't been the same since they'd ended and wanted to know if she'd been thinking about him as much as he had her.

She was furious suddenly. So he thought she was going to rush back into his arms just like that? She'd been fine without him. She didn't need him now. But he was in the flesh now. It was different.

But no. That wasn't what he wanted apparently, though she could tell part of him was lying. She had learned from the best.

Then what did he want? An apology? Her love? She just wanted him to tell her what he wanted, and then she would decide whether or not she could help him. Tears were glimmering in her eyes.

He didn't answer her, just pulled her to him in a crushing hug. His audacity shocked Brennan and she protested, albeit weakly. She sobbed into his shoulder, the shock of seeing him and being held in his embrace once again too much for her.

He rested his forehead atop her hair and mumbled apologies to her. So it had been his conscience that had led him to her. She didn't know whether to love him or hate him.

Then she felt his lips brush kisses onto her hair, her forehead the bridge of her nose and leave a burning trail to her lips. She couldn't fight him anymore. She knew it would lead to something further and she was too drained emotionally to keep him away any longer. She wasn't surprised that it had come to this. Because it was _them_ and it was _him_ and he was the one thing that made her whole and secretly he'd been the thing she'd wanted for the past five years though her secret had been hidden, and maybe she hadn't even realized it until now.

With the flood of memories and touches washing over her, she gave in and thought that maybe, just maybe, they could be together for the night like nothing had ever come between them.

**Reviews are love. **


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